Unusual Weather We're Having, Ain't It?

May 25th, 2011

A tribute to the tornado victims of the Midwest
Recent events remind me of The Wizard of Oz. Sure without the green, pardon me, emerald towers and witches, but the movie none-the-less. I am not sure what part of the world you live, but it seems that tornadoes are synonymous with the movie where I am from. It is no mistake that Dorothy is from Kansas because Baum knew that is tornado country. Over the past week there have been an ungodly amount of tornadoes sweep through the Midwest. The real Midwest, where corn grows and tornadoes flourish. This is where we raise our kids, this where I raise my kid....crap! Missouri, Oklahoma and now Indiana all hit with devastation. I wish the worst thing that would happen in a tornado event is we'd get swept off to a magical land and we can just click my heels to get home. I wish I was actually asleep, no one was hurt and the only damage was the door tore off the picket fence.  Welp, it doesn't happen that way partners. What we are left with after these things, absolute devastation. The weather peeps try and warn us, but just short of saying, "today is going to partly cloudy with a 80% chance of life altering devastation," the best they can do is radars, alerts and warning horns. God bless them for what they do or the death toll could be in the thousands.  

     I am sitting in my office, down the hallway, across from the bathroom. I am watching my wife sleep on the floor wrapped in a blanket next to Ryan, who is sleeping soundly strapped in his car seat. It is around 11pm and we are having the worst storms roll through. I am following intently on the the computer, surfing the different radars...zoom in...zoom out. I am also half watching the always cute Angela Buchman tell us the hot spots of the storm and reporting the damage. Meanwhile 20 miles to the south my friend Alayna and I are texting back and forth. I tell her the status of my household and she shares with me the same thing. She has a boy that is going to be on Ryan's soccer team in 3 years named Ben. He used to be a porker like Ryan but has since thinned out a bit, but he is four months older. In a text she said, "do you ever wonder if our kids think 'who ARE these people' at times like this?" I totally get what she is saying. She is right, I bet the boys were thinking, "I was sleeping in my bed and now I'm in my car seat in the bathroom with you, the (insert pet's name here) and all the blankets while daddy monitors the radar!" Funny if you think about it, but i would venture to say we are not alone in this 'tornado protocol' meaning there are probably lots of households doing the same thing. Just think if we acted like Dorothy we would carry our baby around outside while we see the twister off in the distance and just call for your aunt,  try to lure her out in the open and get sucked up in the vortex. Anybody else think it was stupid for Dorothy, with dog in tow, to go in the house and sit by the window? Heelllooo, we clearly saw the tornado coming in the distance. Times like this is when your fatherly instincts kick in and you make sure you do everything you can to keep your kid safe. I put Ryan in the car seat, strapped him in and when the thing finally got here I'd put him in the tub and throw a blanket over us. I figured if that car seat is good enough to keep him safe in my truck going 65mph, it is the best thing I have in this situation. Honestly, if you want my opinion, I would suggest a kit of some kind with bottles, formula/breast milk blankets, flashlight, batteries, radio, cell...you get the idea and put it all in a Tupperware bin. That way if you do get hit, the stuff is dry and together.....who knows if you end up somewhere over the rainbow you can hock your stuff to the Scarecrow and that puss of a lion to get to Oz instead of skipping with them down a yellow road. Could you imagine if the Lion had kids and was in the tornado? You saw how he acted when it snowed in the poppy field...."Unusual Weather We're Having, Ain't It?" and then he fell asleep. Meanwhile all the lion cubs would be sucked up in the twister - get a car seat Lion, geez!

    I couldn't imagine what it is like to have a big twister hit your house and see all your life spread across the neighborhood. My heart goes out to Joplin and like towns across the country. It is awful to have to rebuild your home, but to rebuild your community is just devastating. I put Ryan's wooden cross from the church in his car seat as he slept in the bathroom. I wish I had one big cross I could have put across Missouri, Oklahoma or Indiana this week. I guess the optimist in me keeps saying, "be thankful that is was not worse", but I hear the stories and it is hard to fathom "worse".  The sun always comes out after a storm and you can see a rainbow off in the distance succeeding the tornado. That is when the people come out and come together, reconnect and rebuild. Just when you think all hope is lost Midwesterners find the energy and the hope to go on and put things back in order. Great people can overcome great adversities. One day soon, after the rumble is cleared and the communities are back in gear, some dad will be pointing out a rainbow and tell the story of the tornado of 2011. Ryan is such a sweet thing, I would never want him to go through something like that, but I'd like to think if he did he would be strong like the folks of these towns. I'd also like to think if he did go through a tornado, he'd end up with the Munchkins for a spell. At least he would be able to come home and teach his old man how to tap dance while licking a giant lollipop!

Baby the Hutt, You're Our Only Hope!

May 14th, 2011

Dearest readers, I need your help. I have a problem and I don't know the best way to handle it due to the sensitivity of the subject. See, it is about someone I love most in the world, but I haven't known this person very long. This is why it is so important I do this right. I am not sure how sensitive he is yet and due to our new/"green" communication, I really don't want to damage our relationship. My problem is Ryan is adding some baby fat to his baby fat.  Okay, stop. I am not helping him if I can't be honest about it or if I sugar coat the issue, so, I just need to come out and say it - Ryan is faaaaat! I mean a real roly-poly. He looks like an opened can of biscuits with rubber bands wrapped on his arms and legs. He has the makings of a shar-pei puppy or it is like the Michelin Man had a kid and gave him to us. When he is waking in the morning and protrudes his triple chins during his stretches, he looks like Jabba the Hutt. I hope this snippet helps you see how serious this situation is and why I have to address it now rather than when it is too late. If I don't act now Michelle Obama may come take him from us and put him on a fat farm. Worse yet, she may tell Ang that she can no longer give Ryan a toy with his Boobie-Meal if she doesn't start producing skim-milk instead of her cheesecake lactate. Maybe in her childhood obesity program we can form a marriage with the Dr. Brown's bottle company. We can ask them to make a huge storage unit that holds the milk and filters the fat from the breast milk. This way when Ryan eats, he is just getting water or skim milk. Sounds genius to me.  I will get the ball rolling on that right away-maybe call it the Super Duper Lactate Shooter....a work in progress.
  As I try and face this head-on I feel that I am limited with my options. On one hand I want him to start losing weight, but I don't want to push him away. Maybe if he'd start working out more. Double his tummy time on the Beekman or longer bouts in the Bumbo to work more on his core . (hmm, I am now a poet) These however are not real fat burners so the fat won't just "melt away" like Dan Marino says in his South-Beach-Jenny-watchers ad. Hard-core workout? No dice, Ryan's legs are too much like jelly for the elliptical machine. Also, I am afraid if I tell him to do these things that I am not really teaching him to be self-motivator or learn to deal with challenges on his own? I guess my next option is that I could set up an intervention of sorts. Maybe gather Ang, Frankie, Azzie and Duckie (our cats) to sit him down and face this head on. Frankie can tell him that she just doesn't now him anymore and then start weeping. Azzie can tell Ryan how disappointed he is that Ryan is over eating, not leaving enough for the rest of the family. Maybe Duckie can give him pointers on how she retains her girlish figure year after year. Ang will tell him she is not jealous that he has Princess Leia hand feeding him grapes, now that she is chained to his crib (in perfect Jabba the Hutt fashion), rather he needs to stick to the breast milk. Maybe after this intervention he will see the error of his over eating and start a more figure-friendly diet.
  I just might need a better look at this.....a new perspective. Can being chubbers have its advantages. Let's look at TV and movies - would Tommy Boy be as funny if Chris Farley was skinny? How stupid would it be if Abbott and Castello were two skinny guys? Has Al Roker been as funny or entertaining since his gastric bypass surgery? Healthier yes, but not as entertaining. Outside of the big screen, there are big successful people that are chubby and seem to be doing just fine. Take Guy Fieri, he has two successful restaurants and five television shows (not to mention he is rocking some cool bleached spikes in his wig.) Greats like Joey Fatone, Homer Simpson, Oprah and Santa Claus are some other examples that you can rock the pudge and be just fine. So I guess there can be advantages to the chub, but Brad Pitt doesn't help my case here.
  I know what you are gonna say: Chris, Ryan is just a baby, he'll thin out. Will he? Well,  I need it to happen now. You guys don't have to carry him around. It is like carrying a wiggling, kicking, farting Thanksgiving turkey - not fun! Also, you all aren't giving him baths. I spend at least 15 extra minutes washing under each one of his fat rolls. I have to arch his back just to wash under his chin(s). No joke. Krista, my sis-in-law, told me to "floss" his neck with the wash cloth. Genius! Welp, I guess this is a battle he is just going to have to fight for himself. Should he really be snacking during the night? Should he tell his Mommy, "Hey I am not going to eat and then go straight to bed!" I joke and I kid around because the next time our little Baby the Hutt wants to eat, we'll say heck yeah, anything for you Mr. Chubbers.  I really don't care either way. Honestly, he isn't even that fat, just getting very chubby. It is funny to see considering how little he was just 3 months ago. Ryan is still the cutest baby on the planet (as all parents say) and I wouldn't want him any other way than how we have him. He is a perfect, handsome boy, just has a few more rolls and couple more chins. So no matter what, whether he is Al Roker or Brad Pitt he is still going get the toy in his happy-boobie meal and wash it down with the Dr. Brown's, Super Duper Lactate Shooter. 


See his pics at Say Cheese! and see how our corpulent cutie is filling out:)

Happy Mother's Day!

May 8th, 2011

The greatest miracle of all is the only way I can describe the birth of Ryan. Miracle? You may say that all births are miracles, and I understand. The birth itself is a miracle, but the story of Ryan getting here is the miracle. Since it is Mother's Day, I felt it only appropriate to honor the best woman I know and to explain the journey it took in order for Ang to even experience her first Mother's Day.  First, I must tell you that Ang is a wonderful, selfless person. She is truly the most genuine person I know. That makes this story all the more wonderful. 

We all know the story that Ang and I meet in math class in high school. I never knew that God put her there for a reason, but thank God. If I have ever done anything right (which I doubt there is much), it was never letting her get away. We were married in 1996 and went through a great journey through up's and down's. We have the best relationship. Even after almost 20 years I still look at her and just want to hug the crap out of her. (romantic, right?) I love her! Well in the summer of 2006 we found out we were pregnant and this was quickly followed by losing the baby. To top that we discovered that it was a molar pregnancy which had turned to Cancer in her uterus and rapidly spread to her lungs. I can remember the drive home the next day and getting the call from Dr.Hwang telling us the tests were positive and that Ang was going to need a heavy regiment of chemotherapy. I can't imagine how Ang felt at that time, but all I knew is this sweet wife of mine was scared. I soon found out just what a fantastic woman she is because she took this Cancer head on. What a bad ass: bald head- bring it on, sick nights- bring it on,  lose of feeling- bring it on!  There was the most scary episode in the October when the Cards won the World Series, her counts got alarmingly low and she was the the girl in the bubble for a week or so. She was a champ. After months and months of Chemo she was finally cleared. We lived the life for a while, she let her hair grow back out, she got fit and she was back on top of the world. A couple years later we had another ordeal similar to before, but without the heavy Chemo. Unable to grasp if these were happening because of trend or chance, we sought the advice of every doctor from the Midwest to the East Coast trying to figure if we should try and have kids again. Well the Spring of 2010 we found out we were pregnant again. Third times a charm, right? Well it turned out to be just that- not only was it a charm, but a freaking miracle. A true miracle in every since of the meaning. 

Ryan came to us January 23rd, 2011 and Ang became a mother. Ever since that day she has been the best mommy. It was like she was born to do be a mother, it just came natural. She and Ryan have the best time together. He just lights up when ever he sees her. Mommy!! When he came out they had an instant bond. She glowed and at that time I knew she finally felt complete (or something like that anyway.) The first few seconds with him and they were already playing.  The first thing she said was, "heello my baby boy, I am your Mommy."

When we were in the hospital room she never wanted him out of the room. No nursery for Ryan. She was gonna be with her bear cub the entire time and never out of her sight. 

Once we were home and she was on maternity leave, she and Ryan hung out ALL day long. They became best friends. She discovered her first challenge as a mother: Colic.  Ryan was a colic baby for the first month. Late nights, long days of crying and fussing. We couldn't seem to find the right remedy to cure this crying. Ang stayed up late rocking her baby boy hoping he'd sleep long enough for her to get some sleep too.

Ang found out that chores were still something that had to get done so she recruited one of the finest workers to help her with her laundry. Ang loves folding laundry (well that is what I say so I don't have to do it) He has been a big help around the house. Ang is doing great at multi-tasking.

One milestone in raising Ryan was his doctor visits and shots. During his first shots, I think Ang was more nervous than Ryan, mostly because he is clueless what is about to happen.  The doc gave him the poke in the leg he was crying and sad. The lioness comforted her cub as only she can. 

Ang has always loved babies and baby clothes. She had bought Ryan clothes before she even knew the gender. She gets the biggest kick out of dressing him up. Here is a great example her dressing the boy. She proudly displays him in his one-piece skunk suit. By the way, she lays his clothes out every night so she knows exactly how cute he is going to look the next day.

Carrying on traditions is important to teach Ryan. She has gone as far as to make sure he learns family traditions early. Ang and I have always gone to St. Louis Cardinals games in the summer and Packers games in the winter. She made sure that during the Super Bowl he was in his Packers onesie and last week she got him his first Cardinals hat. Go Cards! Go Pack Go! Go Mommy!

No matter what, I know Ang is going to continue to be a great mother. Ryan is always going to need his mommy, so I am glad that she want to be with him all the time. She deserves this so much. I don't throw that around loosely, deserve. She has really been a great mother and our little man is going to be a great person because of her.  I pray he grows up to get her smarts, her sense of humor, the ability to be practical and most of all her genuine love. I hope that he realizes one day what a miracle he actually is and what lengths a great mother will go through to deserve that miracle. Happy Mother's Day Boo!




(see "Say Cheese" to view pics of Ang's 1st Mother's Day)




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When You're Smiling

April 18th, 2011

Oh the horror! Just when things couldn't get any better. I have heard stories, but never thought it would happen to my baby. Please take my advice and do not go anywhere near my boy! Somehow I got it and now Ang has it -this is some serious stuff. I am about to contact the government to see if we need a quarantine, martial law or a special alert level needs to be announced. If you have been around Ryan anytime during the past 3 months I think you should go see your family physician and have some test run to see if you have caught this infectious...virus or disease. In case you can not get into the doctor's office for a bit, maybe you can do a self examination and check for these symptoms. One symptom  is if you are looking in the mirror and each end on your mouth is curved up towards your ears and the middle part of your lips stay still. Another is a warm tingle in your heart - this is how I found out Ryan gave it to me.  The one symptom that is the hardest to distinguish is a spontaneous outburst of vocal noises (similar to a machine gun or a long run of "a" sounds). It is the hardest to distinguish because some people confuse it with Tourette Syndrome. I assure you, you can try and control it or act like it doesn't affect you, but it will.  So you are probably wondering if I am going to tell you what Ryan has and I think I owe it to you, but once I tell you - do not underestimate its power. Ryan suffers from Vultus Contangere or Contagious Smile....although he doesn't seem to be suffering. If you feel like relieving your stress, having perma-grin, lowering your blood pressure, constantly being in a good mood, sudden urge to squeeze a baby, uncontrollable love and/or a warm tingly heart, by all means go ahead hang out with Ryan and catch his infectious smile. No time is a bad time. Day or night, come on over and get your fix.  Don't say I didn't warn you though. Don't come crying to me when your face hurts so bad from smiling all day you need a pain pill to mask the pain. What is a dad to do? Should I sew on a warning label on him somewhere?

Your best offense is a good defense. Soooo, with that in mind and you absolutely have to go around Ryan, I will brief you on how I got it and you can try to figure the best approach. One morning in February I was getting up to start the day and routinely went over to the bassinet to get Ryan up. I tickled him on his chin, "good morning Mr. Dude!"  He then sweetly opened up his eyes (Don't look, that is how he lures you in, it is a trick) and then he spreads the biggest smile across his face. Talk about a warm tingly heart. It just makes you melt. From then on I have had perma-grin and a warm heart. I haven't been able to shake it since. What's worse, this kid smiles and laughs ALL the time. I am doomed! The only time he fusses is to eat or change a diaper and even then the fusses are more like loud laughs. Even when I know his tummy is uncomfortable from unreleased toots or has a full diaper he still trys to smile through his frown - it is the funniest thing. As I often mention, Ang and I will just sit and watch him no matter what he is doing. He is our favorite sitcom. We get the biggest kick that this kid just smiles in his sleep. Sometimes, like his Mom, he will be in a deep sleep, sigh and let out the loudest laugh/coo followed by the smile. He smiles in the bath tub, smiles in through his pacifier, smiles during a Pampers change, he even smiles during Yo Gabba, Gabba....okay, so do we. The dude is absolutely funny.  

Seriously, why are smiles contagious? I don't know for sure, but something about Ryan will absolutely fill your heart. Maybe it is God just giving us simple joy. It says in Numbers 6:24-26, "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." Maybe that is the simple answer. What ever it is, I am glad. Amazing how something so simple can bring so much happiness. Ryan is our world and we are glad that it is smiling....at least until the next dirty diaper.


Go to Say Cheese and see Smiling!




Click to Listen


WHEN YOU'RE SMILING
by Louis Armstrong


When you're smiling
When you're smiling
The whole world smiles with you

When you're laughing
When you're laughing
The sun comes shining through

But when you're crying
You bring on the rain
So stop your sighing
Be happy again

Keep on smiling
Cause when you're smiling
The whole world smiles with you

Mommy says knock you out!

April 4th, 2011

There comes a time in a mans life when he has to admit something to himself. A time in which a man comes through with the truth, fess up. This is one of those times. I really feel that if I am just honest with myself, I can reap the benefits of an honest life.....so here goes. My son is the strongest baby alive! There I said it, wait, it feels weird, but a good weird. Oh my gosh this is so liberating. I feel that all this weight has been lifted and the heavens are opening up to shower me with peanut butter cups and beer. Okay let me pause to regroup (pausing...) Maybe I am getting carried away. I know you are thinking this dad's lost it, but I know it will never shower beer or Reese's. However, it does not stop me from wondering, how strong can a baby be...how strong should he be? I keep thinking that I should call Guinness Book of World Records or send them a picture proving Ryan is the strongest baby in the world. By the way I am talking physical strength, not odor potency ....you know...dirty diapers, but he did have that one...never mind. Do I really think he is the strongest kid ever, no, but that doesn't discount his strength. He has held his head up from day one, he kicks like a freaky Bruce Lee against a flock O ninjas and punches like Rocky Marciano in a street fight. He is not a lean, mean, fighting machine. He is more of a chubby, drooling pooping machine. I will confess though, he gives me a fit trying to fasten his diapers, "get your blasted leg down Ryan, I am tying to fasten your diaper!" I am going to have to start changing into my catchers gear just to change his diaper. He reminds me of one of those boxing kangaroo's that you see in a Charlie Chaplin film or a Little Rascals episode. You know the kangaroo that has on boxing gloves, balances on his tail and kicks the boxer in the ring. Funny right? Not if you are trying to close the diaper before your baby, pretending to be a cherub statue in a fountain, can pee on your shirt five minutes before you have to leave for church. Maybe i should find one of those kangaroo's and teach it to change diapers and to dress my little Chuckie Norris. My money is still gonna be on Ryan in this kangaroo match-up. The kangaroo has just three moves whereas Ryan has an infinite arsenal of kicks and jabs not to mention the secret weapon....the gas bomb. If this fight went down it would have to sounds something like this:


"Laaadies aaand Gentleman, we have a real treat this evening." "It is a battle of pooch vs pouch, wallaby vs poopie, marsupial vs mammal, joey vs. jowls, this is the big ticket match you have been waiting for all evening." "In the blue corner weighing in at 180 pounds with a record of 10-0 all in the form of knockouts, from the great down under (under where?) the Australian Stallion, Joey Kangaroooooooo!" "In the red corner, weighing in at a whopping 12 pounds 3.5 ounces with a record of 0-653 all resulting in diapers being fastened, from the home state of Orville Redenbacher, the Diaper Dominator, Ryan Carter Steeeeeennooooo!" From there it would be a whirlwind of well trained fighters fighting there hearts out. I can see the roo propping up on his tail going in for the double kick and Ryan dodging it because he is on the ground just swinging and kicking. Remember he is just a baby and he can not even walk or roll over yet. The kangaroo misses and the force would just swing him around, causing him to lose his balance and fall down. Just when the kangaroo realizes that he fell within two inches of Ryan's legs he can not react fast enough to escape the incoming kick. The kick causes the kangaroo to see stars. Remembering that his mommy/trainer just gave him Mylicon drops in the corner Ryan quickly conjures up the secret weapon. Releasing the gas bomb a few inches from the poor roo's snout. BOOM! the roo finds himself disoriented unable to continue. Just then the referee falls to the mat to give the 10 count when the fumes hit him. He becomes disoriented and passes out. After the bell rings, the air clears, and everyone comes to, Ryan walks...well is carried away with his first ever win by way of flatulent knockout. 


I guess we need to soak it in now, these are the sweet years. The times where his kicks are cute and can't cause damage. They cause funny splashes in the tub because he loves bath time. Kicks because he is so excited about being on the Beekman. He is growing before my eyes. I love watching him discover that he can kick the air and swing his little arms. He squawks and coos in laughter at himself. So I guess we will soak it in now because before we know it, he is going to be scuffing it up on the play ground, and it won't be so funny. Funny how I keep thinking he is growing up so fast, but just 9 weeks ago he was kicking and punching as the little joey inside mommy's pouch. (sigh)  I am over reacting, huh? Things are not really changing that fast, so I can put away the catcher's gear and the phone number for the Guinness Book people, for now. Too bad, I was really looking forward to the peanut butter cups and beer. 

The Simple Bear Necessities.

March 18th, 2011

Ryan, the bear, on the farm....a bear on a farm?

It is funny that we keep finding ourselves observing Ryan. We try to catch him becoming more like a person that can think and act on his own, instead of by innocence and necessity. See right now he is just so pure and so sweet. He hasn't been clouded by deception, temptation, lies or hate. He may not like not pooping for 2 days and cry about it, but he is constipated with a pure heart (and a full butt.) He may like mommy's milk coming from mommy rather than from the bottle, but it is not like he is pulling into the drive-thru and sneaking an extra boob during Lent. Nope, this baby is just simple....simply sweet. 
As his Mom and I continue to watch our boy grow and continue do things he has never done before, we are doing so during his daily routine - 9am Eat, then to the bath, then change into fresh clothes, then straight to the funky farm, which we have named, the Beekman. (See Fab Beekman Boys) After his play time on the farm, he goes on to nap, eat, poop several more times before bed time. Going through the routine we look forward to the things we can always count on like his smiles, the laughing, the kicking, the arm-pumps and growling like a bear. Ang calls him her little growly bear. It is very funny.  Sometimes when he is in between a growl and a laugh we get a real loud one. GrrrrrOOowwll! When I change his diaper, he gives me a growl. Even as he is in dreamland he growls. You never can tell if he is happy or pooping. Although you should be able to tell by the explosions, mentioned in the "Greatest Show in Diapers" entry in February. 
He loves his time on the Beekman. He doesn't love the tummy time, where he exercises his muscles by laying on his tummy. Rather he loves to lay on his back and look up at all the dangling farm animals. There is a cow with a mirror, which reminds me of the Eli Lilly field trip in 5th grade. That is when we saw the cow with the window in his belly so you can see his innards working, ewww! Also dangling from the Beekman are other animals like the lamb that plays "Old MacDonald" as well as the a Chicken that rattles and a pig that jingles.  Dunno why Ryan loves this farm so much, but he does. He lays there smiling, kicking, grabbing and growling. In perfect parent fashion, we watch him like it is the best thing on TV.  Ang will look at me and say, "did you see him do that?" I will reply, "Yes, I bet no other kid has grabbed a toy that fast, he is soooo smart!" I will ask the Doc next visit what upper percentile he is now since he is doing such advanced motor skills...you know... grabbing stuffed animals.....and he is so young...beyond his days. He is young, right? I mean I still refer to his age in weeks and not months. 
I am sure in some parent magazine Ang and I aren't supposed to be oo'ing and aww'ing over the boy and that we are spoiling him and this may cause him to grow up hating his parents. It's not like we are dressing him up and plastering it all over the internet.....oops. I mean we love this boy, how can we not?  Oh well, I love it, we love it. He is so much fun to watch, the new things and the normal things. We love that he is sweet and innocent. I guess being so simple is what makes him so sweet...our simple growly bear. He can not act for himself and only does what is necessary. Maybe that is the secret to his sweetness, him depending on us helps too. We better savor this now because before you know it he will tell us the baseball threw itself through the window. We will get frustrated and we will have wondered whatever happened to his bear necessities, his simple bear necessities.

Lyrics from the song:

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities 
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life

I'd Like to Solve the Puzzle.... (a tribute to Grandma Carter)

March 4th, 2011

Ryan playing against himself and himself!

There comes a time in every person's life when you feel that the crazy things you say will come true.  It is never anything like "I hope this light changes to green before I get there so I don't have to brake" or "I hope I wake up with washboard abs in the morning." It is puzzling how God decides which requests go in the "granted tray."  I am sure I will never figure it out, which is why life remains exciting. Well recently I opened my mouth and if you know me, that is expected to be quickly followed by an inserted foot. This time is different. (I think I just heard a jaw hit the floor from every teacher from my past) This time I really wished for something out loud and against usual luck, I feel it is coming true. Here is the story -I warn you, this is a funny tragedy....okay? This past Fall, we lost Ryan's Great Grandma Carter. In the weeks and days leading to her final departure,  the entire Carter family (Ang's Mother's side of the family) had a chance to get to know each other better. Grandma Carter, Ryan's namesake, was one of those people that was so selfless and sweet. Every family member stayed the entire time she was in the hospital. It was amazing, but she deserved nothing less. Well as she was moved from intensive care to the hospice wing in the final couple days, we all had a chance to hang out in the room watching her final moments. It sounds terrible, but it was therapeutic. We were all hanging out, laughing, crying and telling great stories of a woman so special. One day the doctor came in after some readings and gave her a few hours after they took her off the respirator. Two days later we were all joking because it was perfect Grandma fashion to hang on because she didn't want to miss anything. She didn't have faults just quirky-isms. For instance, she was "nibby" or current on every ones lives.  So when Ang and I came back from IU and bought a house, we had a 3 week period before we could move in, so we stayed at Ang's folks....next door to Grandma. Every time we'd go out and come home late, we could count on her peeking at us through the window.  She isn't nosy, she just doesn't want to miss anything. So in those final moments of her life. We all stood around the bed, looking at her, praying and telling stories. We watched her take her final breath. We all sat there starring at her and hugging each other - it finally happened. Ang was 6 months pregnant at the time (this is were my opened mouth comes into play) so I said to everyone I hope her soul goes to the nearest unborn baby! Oh that made Ang happy and sad. I meant it too. If I could have my new baby end up sweet, selfless, hard working, love everyone, love his church and ends up a bit nibby - I would have won the lottery.  I know this entry seems like it is about Grandma more than Ryan, but hold on I am not done. 
Ang and I are new parents, right? So we are still in the curb feeler stage. We have the feelers out in pursuit of the perfect way to get Ryan to go to sleep, stop crying, burp, take a bath and oh yea, stop crying. (did I say that twice? sigh!)  One day a few weeks ago, as we blindly try to establish a routine for sleeping, we find that this kid will peek with one eye closed in the middle of a deep sleep. What the? Just sleep ding-dong! Ang and I often stare at Ryan in heart filled awe and thank the good Lord for his blessing. In doing so we often catch ourselves laughing at Ryan spy on us with his peeking eye. One late night I was working on the computer, looked over at the baby monitor and saw Ryan, laying in the bassinet, staring at Ang asleep next to her. I thought to myself, just go to sleep ding-dong! Then it hit me in the head, like a nun with a ruler, what I said at the hospital that Fall afternoon, "I hope Grandma's soul goes to the nearest unborn baby."  I chuckled to myself. Ang and I are constantly laughing about his inability to fall asleep because our social-butterfly...(cough)...I mean social-pterodactyl with laser beams will miss something, just like his Great Grandma Carter. 
Grandma Carter had a few things she loved to do or considered routine. These are things you and I would normally categorize as "-isms" as if to say, that is just Grandma being Grandma. Grandma-ism! Grandma always patted us on the butt and we'd laugh. Which we have found is the best remedy to getting him to sleep...put him in our elbow-pit face down, rocking and patting his butt. Ironic? A few other Grandma-isms are she saved her dinner roll in a wrapped napkin and put it in her purse. She'd always take with her, cans of caffeine-free Diet Coke in a handy pack and store it in her trunk next to styro-foam cooler which houses her bathing suit, just in case. Grandma is famous for watching Wheel of Fortune every day. If she missed it, she and Grandpa would record it on a VCR tape. How can you not absolutely love this sweet woman? :) 
      To back up that part of Grandma lives on in my son, I have the most convincing evidence yet: Ang and I have done everything we could to entertain/stimulate/teach Ryan. We have bought him the Baby Einstein Lullaby Soother an aquarium music box that lights up and is....soothing! (oh yeah, it attaches on the crib) We have bought the Little Moses and Baby Jesus  DVD's at the Christian Bookstore. We have  bought dozens of dangling toys, vibrating animals, rattling farm toys, music playing stuffed dolls and from the DVD's to the moo-cow bracket the thing he likes best, is watching Pat Sajak spin the wheel on Wheel of Fortune. Really Ryan, Wheel of Freaking Fortune? He just lays on his funky farm with the dangling, vibrating, rattling, wasted money just so he can squawk, smile, laugh and kick while watching the timeless Ms. White turn a white light box to reveal an upper case letter in Arial Bold. One day when he is older the puzzle is going to be "SAME NAME" and it will read CHRIS AND SUCKER STEENO. Why did we spend all that money on that crap? Does this mean I should buy a Nintendo with the WOF game or record the shows for him to watch any time he needs to stop crying, or needs stimulation of the mind?
      No way to avoid it, I can not discount that higher powers are at work here. You know what they say, "ask and you shall receive." Well I have to say, we couldn't be happier that he has some Grandma in his soul because we all miss her something bad. Even though it is puzzling what requests God grants and which ones he does not grant, you just have to have faith that he knows what is best. On that Fall afternoon when my request was made, I am  just glad that when he spun the great wheel in the sky, it landed on "Granted" and not "Lose A Turn." Now it is up to us to teach Ryan that he was blessed with the gift of love. The best way to honor this gift is to sit in front of the TV at 7:00pm EDT, turn it to NBC and when the Category is GREAT PEOPLE, before the first letter is turned he should know that the answer to the puzzle is GREAT GRANDMA CARTER WAS A GREAT GRANDMA.