I'd Like to Solve the Puzzle.... (a tribute to Grandma Carter)

March 4th, 2011

Ryan playing against himself and himself!

There comes a time in every person's life when you feel that the crazy things you say will come true.  It is never anything like "I hope this light changes to green before I get there so I don't have to brake" or "I hope I wake up with washboard abs in the morning." It is puzzling how God decides which requests go in the "granted tray."  I am sure I will never figure it out, which is why life remains exciting. Well recently I opened my mouth and if you know me, that is expected to be quickly followed by an inserted foot. This time is different. (I think I just heard a jaw hit the floor from every teacher from my past) This time I really wished for something out loud and against usual luck, I feel it is coming true. Here is the story -I warn you, this is a funny tragedy....okay? This past Fall, we lost Ryan's Great Grandma Carter. In the weeks and days leading to her final departure,  the entire Carter family (Ang's Mother's side of the family) had a chance to get to know each other better. Grandma Carter, Ryan's namesake, was one of those people that was so selfless and sweet. Every family member stayed the entire time she was in the hospital. It was amazing, but she deserved nothing less. Well as she was moved from intensive care to the hospice wing in the final couple days, we all had a chance to hang out in the room watching her final moments. It sounds terrible, but it was therapeutic. We were all hanging out, laughing, crying and telling great stories of a woman so special. One day the doctor came in after some readings and gave her a few hours after they took her off the respirator. Two days later we were all joking because it was perfect Grandma fashion to hang on because she didn't want to miss anything. She didn't have faults just quirky-isms. For instance, she was "nibby" or current on every ones lives.  So when Ang and I came back from IU and bought a house, we had a 3 week period before we could move in, so we stayed at Ang's folks....next door to Grandma. Every time we'd go out and come home late, we could count on her peeking at us through the window.  She isn't nosy, she just doesn't want to miss anything. So in those final moments of her life. We all stood around the bed, looking at her, praying and telling stories. We watched her take her final breath. We all sat there starring at her and hugging each other - it finally happened. Ang was 6 months pregnant at the time (this is were my opened mouth comes into play) so I said to everyone I hope her soul goes to the nearest unborn baby! Oh that made Ang happy and sad. I meant it too. If I could have my new baby end up sweet, selfless, hard working, love everyone, love his church and ends up a bit nibby - I would have won the lottery.  I know this entry seems like it is about Grandma more than Ryan, but hold on I am not done. 
Ang and I are new parents, right? So we are still in the curb feeler stage. We have the feelers out in pursuit of the perfect way to get Ryan to go to sleep, stop crying, burp, take a bath and oh yea, stop crying. (did I say that twice? sigh!)  One day a few weeks ago, as we blindly try to establish a routine for sleeping, we find that this kid will peek with one eye closed in the middle of a deep sleep. What the? Just sleep ding-dong! Ang and I often stare at Ryan in heart filled awe and thank the good Lord for his blessing. In doing so we often catch ourselves laughing at Ryan spy on us with his peeking eye. One late night I was working on the computer, looked over at the baby monitor and saw Ryan, laying in the bassinet, staring at Ang asleep next to her. I thought to myself, just go to sleep ding-dong! Then it hit me in the head, like a nun with a ruler, what I said at the hospital that Fall afternoon, "I hope Grandma's soul goes to the nearest unborn baby."  I chuckled to myself. Ang and I are constantly laughing about his inability to fall asleep because our social-butterfly...(cough)...I mean social-pterodactyl with laser beams will miss something, just like his Great Grandma Carter. 
Grandma Carter had a few things she loved to do or considered routine. These are things you and I would normally categorize as "-isms" as if to say, that is just Grandma being Grandma. Grandma-ism! Grandma always patted us on the butt and we'd laugh. Which we have found is the best remedy to getting him to sleep...put him in our elbow-pit face down, rocking and patting his butt. Ironic? A few other Grandma-isms are she saved her dinner roll in a wrapped napkin and put it in her purse. She'd always take with her, cans of caffeine-free Diet Coke in a handy pack and store it in her trunk next to styro-foam cooler which houses her bathing suit, just in case. Grandma is famous for watching Wheel of Fortune every day. If she missed it, she and Grandpa would record it on a VCR tape. How can you not absolutely love this sweet woman? :) 
      To back up that part of Grandma lives on in my son, I have the most convincing evidence yet: Ang and I have done everything we could to entertain/stimulate/teach Ryan. We have bought him the Baby Einstein Lullaby Soother an aquarium music box that lights up and is....soothing! (oh yeah, it attaches on the crib) We have bought the Little Moses and Baby Jesus  DVD's at the Christian Bookstore. We have  bought dozens of dangling toys, vibrating animals, rattling farm toys, music playing stuffed dolls and from the DVD's to the moo-cow bracket the thing he likes best, is watching Pat Sajak spin the wheel on Wheel of Fortune. Really Ryan, Wheel of Freaking Fortune? He just lays on his funky farm with the dangling, vibrating, rattling, wasted money just so he can squawk, smile, laugh and kick while watching the timeless Ms. White turn a white light box to reveal an upper case letter in Arial Bold. One day when he is older the puzzle is going to be "SAME NAME" and it will read CHRIS AND SUCKER STEENO. Why did we spend all that money on that crap? Does this mean I should buy a Nintendo with the WOF game or record the shows for him to watch any time he needs to stop crying, or needs stimulation of the mind?
      No way to avoid it, I can not discount that higher powers are at work here. You know what they say, "ask and you shall receive." Well I have to say, we couldn't be happier that he has some Grandma in his soul because we all miss her something bad. Even though it is puzzling what requests God grants and which ones he does not grant, you just have to have faith that he knows what is best. On that Fall afternoon when my request was made, I am  just glad that when he spun the great wheel in the sky, it landed on "Granted" and not "Lose A Turn." Now it is up to us to teach Ryan that he was blessed with the gift of love. The best way to honor this gift is to sit in front of the TV at 7:00pm EDT, turn it to NBC and when the Category is GREAT PEOPLE, before the first letter is turned he should know that the answer to the puzzle is GREAT GRANDMA CARTER WAS A GREAT GRANDMA.