Every day for the past five days Ryan has a keen sense of knowing when we are tired or in need of sleep. He has developed this cry making pterodactyls sound like song birds on a spring morning. Why the crying? Ever heard of colic? If you haven't, it is a baby term for gas build up in the baby giving them the incredible ability of loud crying and throwing fits. I believe Colic is an acronym for Crazy Out-of-control Loud Insane Crying. As we have to deal with these emotions, I realize I can't call it a good day or a bad day. This is multifaceted and too complex, i must take the bull by the horns and form some strategery. I have discovered that this kid has to be dealt with in categories similar to homeland security threat levels. Level Blue, which I named "Aw, He's Just a Baby," when he is sleeping or napping and this is his peak cuteness. Level Green, which is cleverly named "Rolling With the Gnomies", (a play on words from the song, Rollin' with the Homies) meaning he is in his car seat and we have a 95% success rating for 'no crying' incidents. Level Yellow or "He's Awake!" and being awake has a significant risk of crying and he is just toying with us, waiting for the exact moment in which to pounce. Then there is Level Orange deemed "Holy Crap" because this is a cry in which can only be defended by a diaper change. You can only hope that this means he will quit crying after a fresh diaper has been wrapped around his tooshie. If not this could escalate into a Level Red my friends, oh yes, a Level Red or "Brace Yourself Fool!" Just when you are sitting in your rocker looking at his sweet face wondering how could God give me such a precious gift, he does an about-face which can only be described in to steps. First is the build up. The build up is a teaser, like maybe it isn't going to be a cry at all, maybe just a fart or a deep sign, or grunt. Do not fall for it. This is just a warning, DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN. The second step skips crying and goes straight into screaming......God awful, ear drum piercing, toe curling, glass breaking, Sasquatch deterring, SCREAMING!
I have only had three weeks with this kid and just when i thought I had him down and i know him inside and out, he throws a wrench in my spokes. My sweet Candyland, kite flying from a toadstool image of him is gone, the bubble is burst, the dream is ka-put. It is like I don't even know him any more....or at least I only know Hyde, or is it Jekyll? Okay, maybe i am being a bit too rash because it is 2:50am and I just got him to sleep from a major fit, or that I am sleep deprived. Either way i need to regroup and take a step back to remember the good things (pause).......okay I am back. I have to remember that for the past five years Ang and I have wanted and tried to have a baby. After countless doctors and oncology visits in different states, we became discouraged. I remember praying one day a year ago that if God ever blessed us with a baby, I wouldn't care if he cried every day because it would be worth every minute of lost sleep. So i guess I have to live up to my word and love to live with the crying and fits. So every time we awake to the awful...i mean sweet sounds of colic crying, i will pretend it is the wind whistling through the tail on his kite, he flying from a toadstool.
I remember Luke and his colic days. Sleep deprivation ear curdling screams the whole bit. Lots of car drives with peaceful music. He also liked the vibration of a bouncy seat. Little man will grow out of it hang in ther. In the mean time if you guys need a break you know you can call me anytime. Even if you want me to drive him around so you can sleep.
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